What defines a villain?
by bookworm563
Summary: Villains, heartless creatures with no emotions, no love, no care. We all turn our attention to the good guys, brushing aside the villains' emotions, not giving a thought about what they are feeling. But, villains deep down are still people, still battling their own inner demons. But, what are exactly are they? Oroku Saki's demons may cause you to think differently.


**Hey people! Don't kill me! I know that some are waiting for a new chapter to "The Consequences of Change," but this idea has been swarming in my head for days, I finally just decided to write it before I went crazy, xd. So anyways, enjoy! Oh, and don't forget to review! Pretty please with a cheery on top!**

**Disclaimer: Ok, I do not even own a ninja turtle comic book, why in anyone's right mind would they think I own the actual show!**

I am Oroku Saki. In people's mind, I am known as the villain. The merciless Shredder, who holds petty grudges, gives no thought of kindness and love, and who apparently is not as affected by Tang Shen dying as Hamato Yoshi is. The one who doesn't care when something happens to Hamato Yoshi, who does not give any pity of any kind. Yes, that is the image I have gotten everyone to believe. That is what apparently defines me.

But, if they just looked a little deeper, saw past the bad guy image I have given myself, maybe they would think differently. Perhaps, for once, they will see things the way I do, who I really am, and the struggles I go through. They all think Hamato Yoshi is both physically, mentally, and emotionally strong for what happened to his family. They just see me was physically strong, that is all. Little do they know, I am as emotionally and mentally strong as the so called "good guys"

Hamato Yoshi and Tang Shen were a couple, and a wonderful one at that. But jealousy and longing affected me every day. Every time I saw them pass by holding hands with the most gleeful expression anyone has ever seen, I would fight back tears. Every night I stayed up, thinking about what I could have done differently to have Tang Shen have a place on her heart for me. But I knew it was too late, and that crushed me, made my outlook on life so differently. Tang Shen felt like she was the one, but then to see her being taken away hurt like hell. And she wasn't just taken away, she was taken by my former best friend, the one I had had such fun with and gone through so much with. Hamato Yoshi.

Back then, Hamato Yoshi and I were the best of friends, sometimes even mistaken as brothers. We would do everything together, day and night. We had such a special bond, only to be destroyed by a women. And that made it so hard on me. Maybe Yoshi was at too heartache at our destroyed brothership, but he had a lovely, kind women to support him. Me, not only had I lost my best friend, but the love of my life to him too, and only in a short period of time for that matter. There was no one there to support me, no one to show me they cared. And it was such a struggle, there were many times I just wanted to give up. But I kept moving with the speck of hope I had, only for it to be demolished in the future.

Time went by, and Hamato Yoshi and Tang Shen had a beautiful baby girl, Miwa. And that was the breaking point for me, that moment in time changed my life forever, made me who I am today. How could they, not only had to both broke my heart, they go ahead and create a family with each other!

Without giving the slightest thought about me, at all. They didn't care how the one who loved her or the best friend felt, they didn't care at all. I was blinded my rage, red was all that I could see. And soon, red would be what everyone else would see. Yoshi and I had gotten into battle, and somewhere along the way, a fire started. I'm not exactly sure how, revenge, anger, and sadness was consuming me, and I paid no attention to the outer world. The only thing I was focused on was getting revenge on the one who was the start of my misery, Hamato Yoshi. It was only when the immense heat started to swarm around me was when I realized that the red I saw wasn't just due to my rage, but to the flames surrounding me, like it was a cage. A cage that threatened to take away the life of me, my former, and deep down still, loved one, a child, and my one best friend. And no matter how mad I wanted to deny it, I didn't want anyone to die. I wanted them to feel the suffering I went through, true, but I did not wish for their lives to be taken away, at least not yet.

Suddenly, I heard the panic bellow of Hamato Yoshi, screaming for his beloved one, Tang Shen. The scream rippled around, begging for his loved one. And I just stood there in shock, processing what happened, listening to the screams, realizing to what must have occurred. _No. That did not- I didn't- no! Tang Shen, please, please don't be gone._ I pleaded in my mind, but I knew the damage was done. In result of my revenge and clueless actions, the fire had started and consumed the lovely young lady's life. It was my fault, I had killed her. I was the murder of the one I loved most. I didn't know what to do, I was confused and was drowning in guilt, still trying to believe what just happened. That is when I heard a baby's soft cry.

Blinking back tears of sadness and guilt, I listened again, and followed the baby's soft voice. Laying in a bundle, was Tang Shen's and Hamato Yoshi's baby, Miwa. Now, I do not know what others think when I took the small infant away. Perhaps they thought I was evil, and doing it for revenge. As if that were the only reason. I bet they hadn't given a clue to what I was feeling at that moment, focusing on Hamato Yoshi, again, what everyone thought was the "good guy."

But I did not take Miwa for revenge, that was a small factor I hadn't thought of at that moment. In my head, I thought I had to repay Tang Shen, to do whatever I could to try to get her to forgive me for killing her. I had to take this child too safety, and I promised to myself I would make her a strong, intelligent, and beautiful young women, such as Tang Shen was. I would raise her child, make sure she knew how to defend herself just in case anything as horrible as this happened to her. So I ran off with the petite child in my arms, faintly hearing Hamato Yoshi calling out, "Miwa!"

For a few years I was content, happily raising Miwa, which I had renamed Karai, to become a wonderful women. Every time the child smiled, it brought joy in my day, but sadly, her grin resembled Tang Shen's, and it also brought back the memories I would try so hard to forget at night. Each night, no matter how happy I was with Karai, a piece of me would turn dark. I used my guilt and turned it into anger, directing it toward Yoshi. Convincing myself he was the cause of my melancholy, the reason I stayed up late I night, replaying those horrid scenes in my head.

Skip a few years, until I faced Hamato Yoshi, surprisingly as a rat, for the first time in years. Just seeing his face, even as a different creature, made me feel such distaste I could practically taste it. I hated him so much, yet a small part of my heart kept hidden longed for the times when we used to play together as youngsters, not a care in the world. I quickly covered that sappy thought, knowing those days were over, and fought him with all my strength. Apparently, not only had I seen the one I hated the most, or at least tried too, I discovered he had started a new family, of _four_ turtles. Now, I know that mutants as a son was not something to be jealous of, but good luck just seemed to always find him. Why, why him? Why had good fortune not pay me a visit? And when it did, like the day I rescued Karai, why does it came with a huge price, such as losing my beloved one?

So, my anger was directed towards the turtles too. They were a new reason to be jotted down on my long list of things that caused me misery.

Now, fast forward, to not even a year, but few months, when Karai got mutated. The pain I felt, seeing the only thing that caused me joy, be changed to some hideous monster. I loved her so much, even if she did not feel the same way, which mind you hurt a lot, it was like Tang Shen all over again, get lost, I felt as if it was enough to break me. I was so close, but I knew that I could not show weakness instead of my enemies. But I could not stop myself from screaming "Karai!" As she went tumbling down in the mutagen. Once again, everyone pitied Hamato Yoshi for losing his child, but for heaven's sake he hardly knew her! But _I_ did,_ I_ raised her practically her whole life! _I_ knew her favorite color, _I _knew what to do when she was feeling down! _I _was her life, and she was mine's! But anyone who even bothered to think about me quickly brushed me aside, instead focusing on the pain my enemies must be feeling. No, there wasn't anyone who gave my pain a thought, yet once more.

Finally, the last most dreadful moments in my life, which I am sure there will be more to come, happened just a few weeks later! Such little time to cope what had happened, but life seemed to have it out for me. I know it was my choice, to flush Hamato Yoshi, and I should have felt happy to finally get rid of my long hated enemy, but I couldn't bring myself to do so. Instead of feeling glee, I felt misery and sadness, images of us playing together and enjoying each other's company flashing in front of my eyes. I knew I shouldn't, but for a small moment I wished I could go back in time and reverse what I had just done. But then I thought back on all the pain and suffering he had caused me, and my emotions had a battle of regret and accomplishment. Regret was slightly winning, and all I could do was walk away with a heavy heart.

Now, I know I have done some things that may have gotten me the image of the "bad guy," but even villains have feelings. People like me still feel regret, still have emotions, still feel pain of the past. But images like mine's make people ignore what I may be going through, instead focusing on all the harmful things I have caused others.

But if you have had the love of your life take by your best friend, have her die at your hands, grow to love a child only to have her hate you and mutated, flush your best friend and brother, only to have no one support you throughout the whole time, and to be called evil over and over again, would you not think life had it out for you? Would you not think that there was no way to feel better? Would you feel so depressed, only to see others go along without giving a glance about you, that you might have turned out what I would be?

Yes, maybe I am a monster. But deep down, I am still a person, who has lost everything he cared for in life. There is nothing that defines a villain. Good or bad, weak or strong, we are all dealing with our own demons.


End file.
